Old Friends Are True Friends

The friends I have now are great and the boyfriend I have is greater but this life style isn't going to last forever. My friends are going to college my boyfriends going to India and I'm going to be stuck here by myself in the worst town to be stuck in. So what am I going to do? This was one of the reasons I just wanted to end it all my life and everything but now that I don't feel that way anymore (which is a good thing) I just look pathetic.

Now that I'm not depressed I still feel hopeless about my future, I have nothing, well I have everything right now but not for long. I can't depend on my parents and friends now to be there for me all the time because they're not going to be there for ever. *I wish I had a plan for myself in the future one that will work and one that's practical.

I don't want to be selfish though so one of my other wishes is *for my boyfriend to go to India, I just can't stay with him while he's there though it would hurt too much. And he would probably find someone better any way. I mean it already hurts now and feels like we're in a long distant relationship since he lives 45 minutes away. I wish it was easy to get over someone you love because I feel like that's what I am going to have to do if he leaves.

This week i better join a gym or else i'm gonna look really gross soon *I wish I had a 6 pack not a manly one though just one that actually looks like i care about my appearance. If you would look at me now you probably couldn't tell that I do care.

I need to get my mind off of things right now, he tells me not to worry about India yet, but I can't help it. If  he goes, so do I. I really don't want to but I just couldn't stand being away from him. And I know he's not really "lovey dovey" but I am and really sensative and I would fall apart without him even though he probably wouldn't or not show it I don't know. To distract myself I'm going to write a new play I made up actually I  dreamed about it the other night:
Summery:

Women captures many children to make money in an orphanage when kids are adopted they are captured again to be put back in the orphanage, two escape out of the huge walls into the village where one of them falls in love with a vendor, the vender helps them to escape and to get help. But to get help the have to travel a long way to the state government where the old lady finds them and tries to capture them again. They get away and the secret of the horrible orphanage is revealed and all of the kids are freed.

( I know the dreams really weird but w.e. it's something to do)
What I'd Wish For Right Now:
-To get a job and not screw up at it
-To go back in time and actually apply to some colleges
-*I wish I had a plan for myself in the future
-*for my boyfriend to go to India
-*I wish I had a 6 pack